Tuesday, October 19, 2010

at 15 (A son's letter to his Dad)

just wanna share this dramatically funny letter to everyone... oh the things you could do when you're young, and innocent, and uhhmmm... clever?!

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren

Love, Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report Card, That's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

(parang bagsak lang sa school. hahaha!)

Monday, October 18, 2010

my week's soundtrack: why can't it be?

-"it's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along..."

my take on that: it's sadder when you're carefree and you found that "right one" yet you can never be because he belonged to someone else.

-"bukas nalang kita mamahalin..."

my take on that: seriously?! do you expect me to wait for you? or even wish that your current relationship will go kaput so i can have my chance with you?! hahaha... sorry but no, i don't think so.

-"torn between two lovers..."

my take on that: grow up! don't be too dramatic. you're confused because you have no backbone. for once, have the courage to know what you want and who you want and then decide. make a choice.

-"why can't it be?..."

my take on that: stop questioning. if you can't be, then you were never meant to be in the first place. quit asking and move on. maybe cry for a while but step forward so you can find that someone you can freely be with.


the ball

i entered the ballroom and was astounded! the chamber was filled with men in their black ties.

they were dancing the Tennessee Waltz and i was just comfortably looking around- enjoying being a wallflower. and from the dim corner where i stood, i saw him. Prince Charming. he was dancing with his partner but he glanced at me. and i glanced back. he smiled and i smirked.

then i felt something. it was like magnet. though i was resisting the pulling force towards him, he excused himself from the dance-floor and headed toward me. we exchanged pleasantries and instantly felt the connection. we didn't have to talk that much to know we read each other's soul. i have never felt so sure about someone. he hinted me that he was feeling the same.

we were enjoying our little moment when the music played again.it was time for the Rose Dance. he went to get his red rose and walked in the center of the room; his partner waited for him there. suddenly i realized i was no longer enjoying the ball. i should be happy seeing prince charming and his partner dancing the lover's dance but there was just this stinging feeling. and to my surprise, just before prince charming handed the rose to his partner, he picked a petal, went to the point where i was standing and gave the petal to me.

he looked at me with intensity. he didn't have to say the words; his eyes told me everything. and it would have been okay. yet, he opened his mouth and said "i would have wanted you for a partner but you came in too late. and now, i would have to finish the ball with him. otherwise, i would have wanted you to be my partner. i love you but i would have to leave you- for now."

then he walked away. slowly headed off toward his dance partner; gave him the rose, and danced.

and there i was, the wallflower that saw a spark of love and became a damsel-in-distress.

maybe it's time to go home. who knows, outside, i might just bump into my own prince charming during my departure. or maybe, i would just have to wait until i receive another invitation to join yet another ball and find my perfect match.

hoping to write my and-they-lived-happily-ever-after story; if not soon, then maybe someday.


fleeting love?

sorry. i have to take out the contents of this post out of respect.

although, i banked a copy in my personal folder. as well as the subsequent record of the intense chat i had with "cuddly". i want it to be cherished by me and only ME.


Saturday, October 9, 2010

ooooppppssss! mom did it again

i was oh so determined to live independently and never come back. though i will indisputably miss my room, my bed, and my pillow, i couldn't swallow living under the same roof with someone i dislike.

things were working just fine. matter of fact, i thought not being home was way, way better and cooler than being confined in your own abode. in my tita's dwelling, i get to wake up whenever i want, eat everything that's on the table (food served the moment i open my eyes), stay in bed or watch tv the entire day without getting that you-haven't-done-any-chore-today-so-get-up-and-wash-the-dishes look. i'm loving it! correction: i loved it.

predictably, mom sent me a message. the type that would really hit you right through the deepest pits of your conscience. she said she talked to papa and everything's okay. and just like that, i went home.

i am home. but i have a strong feeling this won't be the last home-coming i'll have. i gave mom a warning though. next time she better come up with a very convincing pretext, the kind that she hasn't used before or i would no longer believe, or pretend to believe her. *sigh* moms! they always have a way to make you melt down.

i'm just thinking what she will come up with the next season?! HA! and BTW, i'm still not talking to the other parasite!



got these definitions from encarta:

1. 4: the number 4
2. something with value of 4: something in a numbered series with a value of four, e.g. -a playing card
-the four of spades
-throw a four
3. group of 4: a group of four objects or people
-a four for bridge
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

1. series of games: a sports event made up of a series of games, rounds, or contests
2. mock fighting: a sporting contest popular in the Middle Ages in which knights took part in jousting or combat, generally with blunted weapons
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

so, four intoxicated people taking part in a private jousting or combat [generally with blunted weapons (see above definition, hahaha!)] is surely having a FOURnament! a hot, hot FOURnament!

who? go figure!

I came, I saw, I conquered! as Julius Caesar succinctly described one of his victories. but for me, i would have to shout "I came, I saw, But I didn't cum!"

so take me off your list. i should be omitted. i'm no participant. (defensive much?!)


premature dancing

and it came to pass that on the afternoon of the eighth, after wolfing down some dim sum dishes, i found myself marching in the labyrinth streets of colon alongside csi.

it drizzled but it didn't stop us from roaming around the city.

we turned right in a corner near sanciangko street and were heading toward what seemed to be a jam-packed establishment where i saw people in their teens -must have been college students in their p.e. uniforms- lining up eagerly. i couldn't quite understand what was happening so i fixed my eyes on their direction as we are nearing their point. i looked up to see the signboard as we passed the queue of those carefree souls with backpacks. i was confounded.

an open disco house at 5pm?! i haven't heard of that some seven years ago when i was still a student in a nearby university. during my time, we loved to parade to clubs and rave at midnight. we won't party unless we're dressed to kill. but now, teenagers are different. disco at 5pm while still modeling the p.e. uniform seems to be the "in" thing. although skipping lunch just to save money for the after-class drinking session with friends isn't really new at all.

now, aspiring to experience discoing at 5pm. anyone wanna rave with me?


room 517

it was october 8, 2010 at around 5 pm when i met my soul sister.

after almost 30 minutes of walking around and searching for that hotel where he checked in, i found myself in front of a building situated in the most populated place in cebu. i'm no visitor but i admit, even if i've been here since, i could still get lost in the downtown area. my feet started to ache and i was really glad to have finally found the place! i had to check the name on the message he sent me and the signage just to make sure though.

it was positive. i've found the right point. so i went straight to the lift and knocked on his room. and there he was! csi in the flesh! he shouted my name and gave me a high-five. i went inside and we chatted some more. it was funny how i felt so close to a person i just met [physically] minutes ago. maybe because we were chatting and texting and calling each other since. we shared stories and other typical girl stuff. eerrr... gay stuff! whatever! hahaha... but really, there wasn't a bit of awkwardness.

then he went on to check something on his lappy. and the next thing i know, he was prodding me to sign up for planetromeo. and so, i did. he taught me the basics in maneuvering the site and within seconds, i was able to chat with someone- was of the schmuck-kind and i lost interest, i stopped. csi then logged in to his account and almost instantly found someone good enough to be a prospect. he made a phone call and set a place and time for the meet up.

freshened up, we found ourselves stepping on the footpath eager to see our new "friend". once we were on the spot, a guy in black polo shirt introduced himself. he was james, 21, from bohol. we were discussing on where to go when james said he's meeting up with another friend in an hour but we could come with him. we did.

we met kenneth, james' friend, in mango ave at around 11pm. he was the guy in red shirt sporting a mohawk hairstyle. csi and i were just waiting from afar when james approached him. they talked and in a split second, he got introduced to us by james.

we had karaoke over bottles of red horse, then we crossed the street and ate [sisig, pancit, and calamares], and went on to order 2 more towers of beer. and then they got tipsy and things got a little bit blurry. we decided to leave the place. i thought we're going on separate ways but surprisingly, we rode the same cab (okay! i wasn't really surprised. i kinda expected that). all four of us. we waited in room 517 for morning to come.


clash of the parasites

thursday. if i only knew how to transform fury into something artistic, i could have done a mash-up of madonna's "papa don't preach", and "how dare you" by basia. it would have been like this:

papa dont' preach!
:how dare you talk to me like that
papa don't preach!
:if you're not careful I'll get mad
i've made up my mind
:Let this be a warning
and now you make me want to scream!

it started with a small discussion about household chores that led to a big, ugly clash. i'll spare you the details but the bottom-line is: he had issues with my unemployment and me not helping mom in the expenses anymore.

i was not angry. i was irate. i was foaming at the mouth!

he need not tell me that! i know! he hasn't been working since i was 8. if not for mom (and the help of my mom's family) my sister and i wouldn't have earned a degree. yet, he had the nerve to tell me i wasn't able to contribute anything at all, and that if there was any help that came from me, it was that i helped surge the electric bill due to my constant use of the computer and the AC. (all the financial aid i gave to the family while i was still working has become part of the bibles' lost manuscript.)

that ticked me off. i just don't want to argue anymore. silently, i packed my clothes and left.

nag "mariah CARRY" nang gamit si clande sa kalagitnaan nang gabi at nakiusap sa kanyang santa-sanTITA na 'dun na muna makikitira habang nagpapalipas nang sama ng loob. wish ko lang someday mag ala maricel soriano si mader at sabihin sa kanyang hubby ang line na "i don't need a parasite! get out! get out!"

but for now, "independent women" ang trip kung kantahin. gotta find a good-paying job soon!



before i run on with my octoberian narratives, let me just have this as my "P.S." for my september notes. i wrote an entry the day this happened but i was hesitant to post it then. alas! i scrapped the entry and now, i'm writing a new one.

last sept. 19, 2010, i had the pleasure of meeting "kyano". that was sunday, during the feast day of Sto. Thomas de Villanueva. after the meeting at the church, we went straight (i'm not referring to our sexual preferences) to a small stall near the park and had a drinking session. we had a really good conversation. there were just a lot of things to talk about.

that was back when i was so overdramatic about an online relationship that died. somehow, retelling him the comprehensive story gave me an overview of how things have been and it helped me move on- fast!

on a more personal note: kian, thanks for holding my hand when i needed someone to do so. you were the friend that stood by me during that sad- now irrelevant- episode.
waka-waka! no more dramas! hahaha...



i haven't really been able to blog since october 1. was only able to log in once and that was just out of my excitement to meet my friend csi in person.

a lot of setbacks, hitches, challenges, or whatever [you call it!] have been strewn on my path lately.but i'm still here. trying to move forward. striving to make it. though i admit, there are times i fear for my sanity.

so the next posts would be snippets of of thoughts and things that took place from the start of the month up to today.

who's in for a staccato of episodes?


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

CSI: Cebu

my "soul-sister" is coming to Cebu! and oh my! i'm just so giddy with anticipation.

we've had the itinerary. made plans- and back-up plans. we've set expectations (not too high). put clothes in order. and we've counted days.

i cant wait for the stories we would be sharing. i'm looking forward to the adventures we would partake. and of course, the possibility that we might detour somewhere for boys! (kidding! i know he's attached and it would be immoral to lead him to do some dirty stuff. but on second thought, who am i kidding? it's my friend csi!; therefore i'm absolutely positively certain he'll do some sort of moonlighting when he's here. HA!)

well, it won't be long. i'm so certain we'll have a blast! but for now, i'll just try to kill time... is it october 8 yet?