Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Songs of the Emotional Jailbird (birthday drama)

It's been months since my last post. I was trying to get a life and got caught up with too many things. But I must say I missed updating this blog. I tried starting anew but I would always look back wishing to just continue what I have started here. 

So here I am on the eve of my 28th birthday trying to get to know myself a little bit more. I figured there could be no better way to do so than to go down memory lane and tell my story from the start. And since it is my birthday (and i'm not gonna cry..) allow me to just have a little drama. Here it is:

He grew up in a small town in the northern part of the landmass. Growing up in an underprivileged  yet somehow decent family, he was molded as a person with a strong patronage to his religion, and a great credence to being able to uplift the family’s social status thru education.

In his early years he knew that he was different. His interests deviated far from the norms of the society. He didn’t know how to handle his emotions and his divergence in his premature years so he ended up pretending to be like the rest. A metaphor would be “A peacock within a pride of lions” -but he became really good at the art of pretension that nobody doubted his true ilk (if there were any they never bothered asking because they were never sure if their inkling was right).

Eventually, as he matured, he settled with the fact that he has been too long hiding in the shadows of deceit that he would no longer be able to detach himself from it. He became the greatest hoax to himself.

Years passed and he is now living on his own in a not so dated apartment in the urban area. Life's adversities had taught him to be flexible yet maintain a strong core. He is docile in the façade but is withholding a serpent within.

He is ME.

An approachable and efficient instructor in the morning, but a writer and a vampire at night (yes I suck, but not blood)! I am a very good son and brother to my family and relatives but I doubt if they would ever think of me that way had they known my dark comings and goings. To my partner, I am the best (as he would always tell me).  I’ve forgiven a lot of his faults and shortcomings in the past. But there is never  true forgiveness unless you get even first, isn’t there?

So what you will see here are my veiled chronicles. These are tales from the renegade’s dark and cold prison cell. The unheard songs of the emotional jailbird…


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